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Monday, February 22, 2021

Feelings I have to let out

 Immunocompromised cancer patients have been moved down the list again for the vaccination. The earliest is now April. Last time I was at chemotherapy I came within 5 feet of over 100 people, mostly other patients, but also personnel. I stopped counting at 100. So many of them were so much more frail than me. Truly I'm sad for us all. I'm isolated all alone and only go to doctor appointments, but some of those people HAVE to be around others in between appointments.

I can't wait. Sorry, scratch that. I look forward to being able to get food to-go at a drive thru or get curb-side delivery. I look forward to being able to fill my car with gas all by myself again. It's lobsterfest at Red Lobster this month. I'd love to sit in their parking lot and have my once-a-year lobster meal there.
I'm not being paranoid about those things. But with my compromised immune system, I can't do any of those things until I'm fully vaccinated.
Visitors have to stand on my porch and talk to me through the door. I hate to complain. And I'm well known for not complaining and being ultra positive over the past 7 years of stage 4 cancer and chemo. But it's starting to get even to me now. It's like a race of will I get the shot before I die. I guess in a few months it won't matter anyway, and I'll just go do whatever I want at the very end, if I can time it to happen before becoming bed-ridden.
But, dang, I could eat a sack of crystals right now. And my people know how strange it is for me to say that.

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